All of that has been rather mindboggling,but here is a story about what was probably the most profound and lasting change from that event from 27 years ago.
By this time I had been divorced from Rose's mother. We were all living in Minneapolis at the time. Rose was living with her mom during the week,and I would have her from Friday night to Sunday. Weekend dads are often the "fun" parent. There's so little time with your child,that generally one just does the trips to the park,the buying of ice cream and the activities that create little conflict. In fact,because there is so little time,one tries to avoid conflict as much as possible.
There are times,no matter how "fun" one wants to make things,a parent has to exercise some discipline and authority and that's where the trouble would begin.
From a very young age,Rose had been taught that because of my marijuana usage and my embrace of radical politics and a countercultural lifestyle that I was "bad". I met Rose's mom shortly after leaving an Evangelical Christian group and I remember her saying once that if she had met me during my college days as a radical pot smoking hippie she would have never hooked up with me,so I guess as I came back into myself our split up was inevitable.
All children like to push back at their parents to some degree,but Rose's rebellion seemed to go beyond what a kid her age would do and some of her actions were of great concern to me. I then discovered that because I was "bad" that Rose was taught not to listen to anything I said.
Malcolm X Meet Peter Tosh was created as much out of desperation as it was a burst of creative energy. The New Riverside Cafe,the West Bank restaurant I was a coop owner was beginning to fail. I could see the handwriting on the wall. With its failure was coming the end of my plans to return to school finish my degree and become a high school history teacher. Being a co owner and the profits derived from the Riv was going to give me the funds and flexibility to do so. It was also becoming clear that I was losing the battle to have any influence with Rose in matters of substance.
Rose's first notable passion was her participation in a school play. She loved it so much that despite feeling sick,she insisted on going to school on the day her play was staged at Armitage Elementary School in Minneapolis.
Originally,Malcolm X Meet Peter Tosh was scheduled for a staged reading at the Walker Art Center and the decision to stage the full play at the Cedar was powered by the Walker's last minute cancellation of the reading. Rehearsals for the play often took place on the deck of the Holtztermann Building,the low rent West Bank apartments that served as the home of artists and writers,myself included. Rose would sit in on those rehearsals on weekends and it became clear that she was enjoying herself. She loved being around the actors. While the play dealt with radical politics and marijuana,she was too young to grasp what the play was saying. Needless to say no marijuana was being smoked during rehearsals. All she knew was her dad was making a play and in the process the idea that I was "bad" was coming into question. After all,how could I be bad if I was doing something as cool as a play? Rose seemed almost as proud as me when the marquee at the Cedar posted the upcoming event.
Rose wanted to attend the premier of the play and I felt it would be a good idea for her to see it. While I knew marijuana would be smoked in it,I also knew lots of incense would be burned as to give a "is it real marijuana or not?" sense to the audience. I had also arranged for a mutual friend to pick Rose up,sit with her towards the back of the audience and to bring her back home at the end of the play. Rose's mom saw it differently however. She saw the play as an attempt to indoctrinate Rose into my way of thinking and did not want her to attend. I tried to give her mom assurances that everything would be fine if she attended. Rose was being as insistent about attending as she had been about not paying attention to my instructions. Finally she gave Rose permission to attend with one caveat.. If she attended,she was going to have to live with me. I thought it was strange that Rose's mom would leave the decision to Rose as to whether she would attend or not but I was glad she was going to attend. I wrote off the threat that Rose would be living with me as something said out of frustration.
The play was a tremendous success,played before a packed audience. Because the play would be running into the evening,Rose spent the night at the friend's house and was reunited with me at the Riv the next day. I had a shift to work and was going to bring Rose back to her mom's house afterwards. Those plans changed towards the end of my shift as Rose's mom showed up at the Riv complete with Rose's clothes and some of her favorite toys. In a 24 hour period I had gone from weekend dad to full time dad!
Rose only lived with me for a few months then before returning to live with her mom,but a few years later after she and her mom had moved back to Colorado,she ended up living with me again,once again on short notice but for an entire school year this time.
I believe my relationship with Rose fundamentally changed that day and when I sit here now living with Rose and my three grandchildren,I believe none of it would have happened outside of the event that took place 27 years ago today.
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